DON’T SETTLE SQUAD
Posts
The Main Reason You Can't Stay Consistent (How to use the habit loop to your advantage)

The Main Reason You Can't Stay Consistent (How to use the habit loop to your advantage)

Mark McCourt
December 10, 2022

I have experienced the negative effects of not understanding habit loops a lot younger than most of you.

I would feel COMPELLED to do things, but never knew why.

When you get to the bottom of this email, you will know exactly why, and how I turned this from a restricting vice to a lethal weapon of PROGRESS. And how you can too.

From as young as I can remember, I would have to do certain actions:

Wash my hands repeatedly
Touch something with my left hand, if I touched it with my right hand
Repeat prayers from the start if I said one wrong
Other silly shit that makes no sense and has zero benefit to my life haha

If anything, I wanted to be LESS consistent. I couldn't STOP the consistency.

The problem was that it was for things that had no benefit to my life. They were hindering it and causing unneeded stress.

I don't actually have OCD. I probably have what's called "Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder" which to be honest sounds worse when you don't know what they are haha.

But there is a crucial difference between this and actual OCD.

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder):

You are more prone to certain 'OBSESSIVE' (thoughts)
You are more prone to "COMPULSIVELY' act on these thoughts (actions)

OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder):

You are more prone to certain 'OBSESSIVE' (thoughts)
BUT........you are not as compelled to act on it.
HUGE difference. You can still get the obsession/thoughts of doing the 'thing'.......but you can control it and don't HAVE to act on it

The difference between OCD and OCPD will be made crystal clear through an example:

Example: You think you left the door unlocked but you are already at work now

OCD - You have to go back and check the door no matter what. If you don't, your family might die. Unless you do the 'compulsion' (go home and check the door), the 'obsession' and anxiety around it will just keep getting worse and worse. Panic attacks or something of similar sorts may happen. (very extreme example but I'm not joking)

OCPD: You have the urge to go home and check the door.....BUT... you can control yourself and use rational logic to reduce the 'obsessive' thoughts about the door. You can let the anxiety go down......and you DON'T HAVE TO do the 'compulsion'. Then you can just get back to living your life and it's no big deal. On you go

This made so much sense to me.

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is actually something that can be wielded to BENEFIT the person.

If you turn this 'weakness' into a 'strength'....it can be a factor in someone being 'successful' in their chosen field. And it has definitely played a part in mine.

I'll link a podcast where Andrew Huberman breaks OCD down scientifically, and the difference between OCD & OCPD and tools to manage them. Amazing podcast.

I had come across Andrew months before and loved the fact he just puts out heaps of info and value to help people for free. I also connected with him a lot as I love learning and have this same drive to put out info to help people.

Andrew has OCPD too. Then as I listened to him describe it......I'm like yep there it is haha.

I knew I didn't have OCD as I am in control of it and it doesn't take over my life. I had learned to use it to my advantage.

But I knew I was different than other people here for sure (I mean I literally have his 2 and a half hour podcast taken down in my notes nearly word for word haha. People wouldn't go to that effort. But to me it's normal)

I LOVE learning, it fascinates me. But it can become a bit obsessive at times if I don't keep an eye on it. (If you want those notes from the podcast - reply to this email and I'll send them over)

This will all make sense by the end of the newsletter as you can use the habit loop:

to your advantage (enables me learn at a rapid rate)
instead of to your destruction (forcing me to wash my hands consistently 30 times a day)

The height of frustration was when I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT WAS HAPPENING.

The closest I would have ever been to towards actual OCD was as a child, and I remember the level of frustration and anger that just had no answer.

The constant rehearsing of prayers, the constant hand washing, not being able to make a toy but I just HAD to even though I didn't want to anymore.

Becoming overwhelmed with frustration and anger and fucking the tool onto the ground and marking the floor and being in shock.......as I am usually quite a calm person. Made no sense to me.

But as you'll come to see in life, until you make the UNCONSCIOUS conscious......what you do will never make sense to you. It will run your life and you will think that is your fate.

It doesn't have to be that way. Education is the answer.

Ownership & Education Conquers All

That's when the dive into habits/productivity etc began for me! From my own pain and frustration.

Everything I share from wisdom and insights on body, mindset, life.....it all came from me just wanting to understand myself and the world better. So I could get progress in things I wanted.

Once you understand we are one of the most adaptable species on the planet and can learn anything in time, its the most EMPOWERING thing in the world

I just followed this process for every area of my life that I wasn't happy with:

Not where I want to be -> In pain -> have a reason now to research it -> study it & learn it -> apply it -> improve that area of my life -> teach and pass it down to others -> move on to the next area

Boom, that's life to me.

Improve myself, which will indirectly down the line improve others once I gather the essential wisdom and insights in that area.

Self-improvement leads to MASS IMPROVEMENT.

Win-win for everyone.

The Goal with Consistency

The goal is to REDUCE AS MUCH FRICTION AS POSSIBLE between you and the thing you want to do.

This makes it so much easier to be consistent then.

A massive part of this is the habit loop that has developed over millions of years through natural selection.

You won't override this with a fucking HACK.

You won't change how you have evolved to become over millions of years.

Your only option is to WORK WITH WHAT WE GOT. To work with what human evolution has given us.

The only option is to learn and understand the habit loop, then apply it to areas of our lives we want to improve. From mobility to life! It's all the same

"Once you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things" - Miyamoto Musashi

Learn the PRINCIPLES FOR PROGRESS.....and then you know how to get progress in anything

Make the Subconscious, Conscious

"Until you make the subconscious conscious, it will run your life and you will call it fate" - Carl Jung

One of the best quotes of all time.

It explains your life and mine. And everyone's in the world.

Why do you do the things you do? You probably don't even know.

I didn't before, but I do now

You can either:

Live life unconsciously (habit loops & your subconscious pulling you in certain directions and you think this is your 'fate')
Become self-aware and understand how your mind works, and now you can see the subconscious patterns and choose to CHANGE THEM AND CONSCIOUSLY LIVE HOW YOU WANT

There is no 3rd option. You are either 1 or 2. And if you aren't sure, you are number 1.

An example of the concept of bringing your subconscious action into conscious awareness is a random one. The one that stuck with me is from a story of me taking a piss in a pub hahaha.

Stay with me here, it's not gruesome I promise. (Ohhhhh another dopmaine rush from the drop. OOMPHH. Shingo Nakamura on the beat. Reverberates from my body out to my fingertips. (an example of dopamine hits aligning with your goals - you will see down further)

I was going to the bathroom in a pub. And as men know, you stare either at the wall or down at your own pecker. You don't look left or right haha.

I was in the cubicle here so I was looking at the wall as there was loads of writing there

And what did it say? "You are consciously breathing now"

And then what happened? I was INSTANTLY aware of my breath. And how I was breathing in and out. Then...I stopped breathing. I had to consciously breathe in and out or else it would stop. Holy shit.........this fucker was right haha.

What happened here was that the SUBCONSCIOUS act of breathing (your brain does it automatically in the background. Or else you would die in your sleep).......was brought into my CONSCIOUS awareness....so now I was in full control and had the ABILITY TO CHANGE IT.

Then when I went back out chatting to friends it shifted back into subconscious action.

Why did I use that example?

It's a simple example of making the subconscious conscious
It's random and weird enough that it will make it easier to remember! (memory acts this way, maybe a topic for another newsletter on memory. I memorized a pack of cards through seeing the 'mind palace' on Sherlock Holmes and researching it. Fascinating. Memorised like 30-40 cards over a day I think. Suit, colour, number and all. Did I ever tell you how AMAZINGLY ADAPTABLE the human body and brain are?! You have no idea. But once you bring the knowledge into your CONSCIOUS awareness like in that other article, you will see)

So that's what we aim to do here. Point out the habit loop to you so that:

Its brought from your 'subconscious' into your 'conscious' awareness. Like my breathing was for me in that toilet.

Also I should apologise, you are probably breathing consciously now too!

Don't worry, just focus on this article and it'll go back to into subconscious control

The Habit Loop

If you don't understand the habit loop, it will constantly work against you in life and derail you.

We have all been there.

Things that give us instant satisfaction are what hijack the habit loop easily:

alcohol & drugs
sex/porn
social media.

The things that are EXTREMELY STIMULATING, but also hit all 4 stages of the habit loop.

Unfortunately, we are wired to have the potential to get extremely addicted to things if it meets the habit loop criteria.

Why? Survival.

The habit loop has 4 stages:

Cue
Craving
Response
Reward

It goes in a cyclical fashion in that order.

Cue -> Craving -> Response -> Reward

Examples:

ALCOHOL

Cue (Friday night/seeing a pub/text to go out) -> Craving (the 'thirst', the urge to have a drink) -> Response (having the drink) -> Rewards (getting tipsy/drunk)

SEX

Cue (see an attractive member of the opposite sex) -> Craving (we get the need for some sexual healing!!) -> Response (You do the no pants dance) -> Rewards (you get one of the most pleasurable rewards a human can feel)

Getting the point? I just picked out the ones we all can relate to. But you can use anything here

So once you know this, you also know the BEST way to break a habit. You just remove step number one.

UNDERSTAND THAT THE HABIT LOOP HAS TO GO IN THAT SPECIFIC ORDER.

If a step is missed, it won't be reinforced in the brain.

So whats the best way to stop the habit? Just remove step 1. Then step 2 won't even happen.

Example:

ALCOHOLIC

Remove ALL the cues (this is literally what they do for alcoholics)
Remove all drink from the house, change walking routes away from pubs, get rid of drinking friends etc. Get rid of as many cues as you can related to drink. Which as you can image is pretty hard. How many drink ads are on TV? A banner on a building? Not easy

SEX ADDICT

Remove all of the opposite sex from your life? haha not going to happen
Delete the numbers of the people you meet. Stop going to the places you met them. Delete all softcore porn on your social media. Etc. Get rid of as many cues as possible

If the cue isn't there, its harder for the craving to get started.

Dopamine (The habit supercharger)

It's also important to understand that the neuromodulator dopamine comes in to effect here in the habit loop.

To keep is simple, neuromodulators ramp things up or slow them down. They are not responsible for any 'specific' thing, like alcohol or sex. But they can RAMP UP the craving for them.

Think of it like a playlist of music, rather than the song itself. As Andrew Huberman says in the podcast on OCD (just opened the doc and searched 'dopamine'. There's my excessive note-taking coming back to help me haha)

So basically, once the habit loop gets ingrained, dopamine will be attached to this. And it will ramp it up OVER TIME. It's the supercharger to your habit.

An example of right now in this moment. I have a shingo nakamura progressive melodic house 2 hour soundtrack playing. I have listened to this hundreds of times. But ONLY when I want to get into the flow zone, forget the world, and do my best work. Connect with my authentic voice.

My brain knows this soundtrack. When it hits the inevitable drops that I love.....my brain RECOGNISES THE PATTERN.

The dopmaine hit from these courses through my body. I feel ALIVE. I feel UNSTOPPABLE. I feel like I was put on this earth to do this. To give my medicine to the people who need it.

This doesn't happen the first time you hear a song. It happens from repetition (the habit loop over and over until its ingrained deeply).

You don't have a favourite song from one listen, you aren't an alcoholic after one drink, you aren't a sex addict after one time.....these things DEVELOP OVER TIME.......if you let it happen.

Use the Habit Loop to Your Advantage

The brain is EXTREMELY POWERFUL. Don't underestimate this habit loop. I have been pulled all over the place by this habit loop don't you worry. I am not immune to it. I'm not sitting in my ivory tower preaching to the masses.

I am down in the trenches trying to figure it out like you are. But I've found the enemy's WEAKENESS. And I've exploited it.

And I'm showing you the route in this newsletter. It's up to you now what you do from here.

You can:

Let the habit loop keep dragging you in directions you don't want
Use the habit loop TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. Set it up so that it helps move you forward towards the LIFE YOU WANT

If the penny hasn't dropped yet. I have wired my own habit loop from a vice in my life (all the OCD examples), into a VEHICLE FOR PROGRESS (across body, mindset & life). And you can too.

That's why I preach about the SMALL GAINS a lot. It covers so many things, including this habit loop.

If you just focus on getting small gains in whatever you are trying to improve in, over time you will start to get dopamine hits from each small gain and the habit loop will start to take over and propel you forward.

I have wired myself now where I get the dopamine hits from small gains in:

my strength training
self awareness & mindset
in business
anything else I want

The habit loop is working in my favour now, pulling me towards things the things I want to do and the person I want to be! And you can too.

Best book to read on this starting off - buy the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. Easiest to follow.

Funny how I read his book and story, and could see we basically push and preach a similar story about The amazing power of SMALL GAINS. Atomic habits means tiny habits. Tiny habits, small gains, same line of thinking

I haven't got a bestseller book yet haha but maybe someday. Don't write yourself off.

It's your self limiting beliefs that hold you back, not reality.

I was told the front splits was impossible for me, but look at my profile picture.

Don't let other's opinions determine your destiny. CRAFT IT YOURSELF. And use the habit loop to accelerate that journey and stay consistent towards your goals.

3 Actionable Takeaways:

Understand the science behind the habit loop

Cue, craving, response, reward
See how all bad habits in your life hijack this habit loop
Explore them and see where you can get rid of the cue

2. Use the habit loop to your advantage now

Use it to get progress in things you want
You know how to reduce friction between taking action now
Build the loop over time and gain consistency & momentum

3. Consistency Creates CHANGE

Now that you know how to build consistency, you can apply it to ANYTHING
Use this habit loop to move you towards the person you want to become, and the progress you want in different areas of life

My Week:

Education:

Current Reading: The Denial of Death
Podcasts

(Jochum Strength Podcast - The Art of Interviews & the Pursuit of Strength: Cody Hughes)

(Modern Wisdom Podcast #555 - The Psychological Impactof Hormonal Birth Control: Dr Sarah Hill)

(Lex Friedman Podcast #343 - Roger Gracie: Greatest Jiu-Jitsu Competitor of All Time

Business:

This weeks client testimonial is Cian Breathnach! Read the full review here.

2023 Coaching spots are available for the Physical Freedom 1:1 coaching program. Read this post for more information. You get December free and we'll get you set up to hit the ground running in January!

From those who signed up last week to the program, you can see they only wished they sarted sooner!

I get it. I've been there. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is TODAY.

NOW is the time to take back your Physical Freedom. It would be my pleasure to educate & coach you through the process. I'm closing entry next Friday 16th when I finish for Christmas.

Book in through this call link here - Book free consultation call

Personal:

Fun this week: Nothing haha. Under the weather thanks to getting langers at a Scooter concert last weekend. Just focusing on work and training.

Training:

One Arm Chin Up session: Tuesday
Upper Push: Wednesday
Leg Rehab session: Friday
One Arm Chin Up session: Saturday
Upper Push session: Sunday

That's it!

Hopefully you learned a lot about habit loops and how to use this to your advantage instead of your detriment going forward.

Time to go out for a one arm chin up session in the dojo. Excited to go out and chase those small gains! (dopamine in action here in my habit loop towards the one arm chin up ;))Then in for a big ass fry and chill on the couch to watch the build up to 282.

Nothing puts me more at peace than a tough session (Strength training or Jiu Jitsu), a big feed, and chill time then. Do something TOUGH today, and I'm telling you, you will enjoy and appreciate that chill time a whole lot more. Go GET AFTER IT.

Don't Settle,

Mark