“If You Can’t Do What You Want, Do What You CAN” (The Obstacle is the Way)

Have you ever been injured? Have you ever suffered from chronic pains? Have you ever had your physical freedom taken away from you and couldn’t do the things you love?

If you have, this newsletter is going to arm you with a better PERSPECTIVE on how to deal with these times in future, and turn them into OPPORTUNITIES.

It will be your armour in the war towards getting your PHYSICAL FREEDOM back.

You don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. Don’t bring your weak perspective & mentality to the journey of physical freedom.

Instead of running into war with shin guards on, we want to arm ourselves head to toe. Prepare ourselves in the best way for all eventualities (any type of injury/setback).

And even when that arrow does get through our armor (a longer term injury/chronic pain) we need to have a strategy in place to deal with this.

Then these situations will not a shock, it’s PRE-EMPTED. If I invite you over to my house, and tell you I’m going to try to jump out and scare you…….will you be shocked when it happens? Nope. You were PREPARED FOR IT, so it took the bullets out of the gun.

We need to have our contingency plan so that we already know what needs to be done when we encounter these situations. Don’t leave it to chance.

It’s simple…..but don’t confuse simple with easy.

What We Usually Do When We Get Injured:

We are told to rest it. To take it easy. We get pity, we get sympathy. We drop our sport/activity completely. We drift off. Everything starts to go downhill. Our progress is taken away from us.

And when this happens over and over, to the point of having to give up your sport/acticity completely, it takes it to another level.

We can face the spectrum of emotions: angry, sad, resentful, bitter, grief, you name it.

This route is not helping us long term. We both know that. But we were offered no other solution.

All we hear from others is how they have injuries too - and that's the way it is. We get wrapped up in this bubble of everyone thinking hard luck bro, that’s it.

But when I look back on this type of perspective we all get into, I see it doesn’t have to be this way.

I’ve been there, but now when injuries happen I have a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE & APPROACH.

And how empowering it is. I am never going back to the way I was.

Take on an Empowering Perspective Instead

I am telling you this because I want you to adopt this empowering perspective too. I have my own armour on, but that doesn’t mean I want you to be struck down with arrows to make me look like I have my shit together.

This isn’t a zero sum game. I want EVERYONE to be as prepared as possible for the impact chronic pains & injuries can have on your life.

How did I come across this new perspective we will get into?

I came across it through stoicism (a philosophy originating from ancient Greece over 2,000 years ago). It’s centered around focusing on things WITHIN your control, rather than worrying about things outside of your control.

You can see how that fits right in. I CAN’T control everything that happens to me (injury), but I CAN CONTROL HOW I RESPOND TO IT. This can never be taken away from you. And this is where your power lies.

I read the book “The Obstacle is the Way” - by Ryan Holiday. (It essentially means the same as the title of this newsletter, but I believe “If you can’t do what you want, do what you CAN” is easier to understand for people).

This book became popular when this philosophy & perspective change we are going to delve into, was used by NFL teams to win the SuperBowl. Now, how much of an effect did it ACTUALLY have on the outcome? We will never know, but it definitely played a part, that’s for sure.

So let’s get to it!

The Obstacle is the Way (If you can’t do what you want, do what you CAN)

The obstacle is the way…..what does that even mean?!

It means that the ‘obstacle’ you face (your chronic pain/injury - or anything in life you are struggling with now, it’s all the same)…..this is the WAY FORWARD for you. But you just can’t see it with your current perspective.

Your progress LIES WITHIN THE OBSTACLE……but you are blind to it.

And in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is King. I’m no prophet, but I’ll do my best Moses impression and part the sea of self-limiting beliefs holding you back from extracting PROGRESS from this so called ‘bad’ situation.

You need to understand that in EVERY obstacle…..there is OPPORTUNITY (the way). EVERY OBSTACLE.

There is no ‘endedness’ in life…….only possibilities.

Let that sink in. The obstacle you perceive to be an END…….is an ILLUSION. There are no dead ends on this journey of life, only crossroads. Only forks in the road. Choosing not to look at all the possible paths forward, does not mean they are not there.

When one junction is shut down, instead of waiting in traffic for hours thinking this is all we can do, we should be taking the ramp to the side. We should focus on the POSSIBILITIES, over the perceived endedness in front of us.

Inherent in every obstacle, is untapped POTENTIAL. Once you truly understand this and utilise it in your life, it’s extremely EMPOWERING.

Will it stop the pain of the event or injury? Nope. But what it will do, is give you peace in the fact that you know YOU WILL COME OUT OF THIS SITUATION BETTER THAN YOU CAME INTO IT.

Why? Because while you were once myopic, you now have 20/20 vision. You can see the obstacle with X-Ray vision and identify the opportunity within. You can focus on them and move forward and still get progress in your life. Where you used to choose endedness…..now you choose POSSIBILITY.

I’ll give you some quick examples in case you are lost. Then I will go into my example of the first time I utilised this perspective shift on a serious injury a little further down.

• You hurt your back

Obstacle - can’t train Jiu Jitsu

The Way/Opportunity:

• More time to train legs

• More time to read

• More time to work and progress your career

• More time to spend time with family/loved ones

• You tore your ACL

Obstacle - bad injury, out for like 6-9 months. Can’t do sport or leg day

The Way/Opportunity

• More time for learning about rehab and your own body to help prevent injuries in future

• More time/energy for upper body training gains

• More time to progress in your career

• More time to do other hobbies/interests you have no time to do because of your sport

• More time to connect with loved ones

Are you getting the point?

All we see in those moments are the OBSTACLE. It’s like a towering building falling on top of us. Impending doom.

But if we just stood off to the side, let the building crash beside us……..and look UP….and see all the POSSIBILITIES AROUND YOU. There is so many other things you can do now because of all the FREE TIME you will have from the fact that you can’t train/play your sport.

What was once an obstacle for you……..has now become THE WAY.

Not having this perspective definitely hindered my life. It’s night and day with how I handle injuries (and any ‘bad’ thing in my life) that happens now. While it will still be painful. I know that there is inherent OPPORTUNITY in this, and that I will grow and PROGRESS in ways I otherwise wouldn’t have, if this specific situation didn’t happen to me. You become anti-fragile (gain from disorder).

And so in time, what I perceived to be a ‘bad’ event……will actually turn out to be a NET POSITIVE overall in my life. As it taught me things and got me progress in areas I didn’t think I would have.

What’s the best example of this? Well the fact that I am writing this email. That my career is being a coach and helping people through the maze of chronic pain and injury to help them get their PHYSICAL FREEDOM back.

The reality is that if I didn’t go through my 10 years of chronic pain and injury (one of the ‘worst events’ in my life)…….then I simply wouldn’t be living the life I am now. I wouldn't have had any reason to become obsessed with the human body to try and get back to Jiu Jitsu and the gym, to get my own physical freedom back. I would never have accumulated the knowledge and skills I have now, and the passion to help others not settle and to overcome their limitations would never have been ignited in me.

I get emotional writing that. As the truth is - those 10 years of chronic pains & injury will probably turn out to be the best thing to ever happen in my life. The catalyst that set me on my journey to the man I am today, and the vision I have for the future.

What was my biggest obstacle……has become my WAY.

This was the missing piece to my success. How to handle the bad times whether injury or otherwise.

The obstacle can be the end, or the obstacle can be the way. Your choice. Your future depends on it, choose wisely.

When I Put This Philosophy into ACTION, and saw it’s Power:

I’ll give you the example where I actually IMPLEMENTED this perspective in a real-life situation for the first time. It’s great reading information, knowledge, wisdom……but it’s NOTHING compared to LIVING IT. To putting it into ACTION. Once you do this, and see the POWER of it IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES, oh baby……there is no going back.

You go from lost to found. From powerless to POWERFUL. From empty to EMPOWERED. This is the way.

In July 2019 I was inter-railing through Europe with some friends. We went through Croatia, Hungary, and finished in Poland. We went to Zadar, Zagreb, Budapest, and finished in Krakow.

The last night of the trip was in Krakow. We were hammered. Long story short, on the way home to the apartment after the night out at like 4am, I fell 5 foot onto my left leg. I just remember screaming in pain. I couldn’t get up and the fact that I was in severe pain while being drunk……I knew that was a terrible sign.

An ambulance had to come and get me. I had just started to work on my side passion of helping people get their physical freedom back. I had just got mine back and was so mobile and free in my body. Me being able to show this was what was getting me traction on Instagram (I had barely any client results yet at this early stage starting off).

I thought the dream was over now. In that moment I knew something really bad had happened. That I had fucked up really bad. Stupid drunken fun on holidays might now mean I can’t get my physical freedom back again. I will be a fraud. If I can’t get my physical freedom back again after this - how can I put myself out there and help others? I cried like a baby on some street in Krakow waiting for the ambulance. I thought I had ruined everything I had worked so hard for.

Skipping forward past the worst day of my life:

• waking up with the worst hangover of my life

• finding out I had not only broke my leg but completely torn my ankle ligaments both sides of my left ankle and would need surgery

• getting diarrhea from a kehab and nearly shitting myself outside Krakow airport as the lads ran in to the bathroom after eating the same kebabs! They eventually came back for me

• Having to get on a plane with the small chance of getting deep vein thrombosis from the cast - which the flight attendant kindly reminded me. She said if I die it is not their responsibility. I was overwhelmed with everything at this stage and had a mini panick attack in my wheelchair. I remember my heart rate being 140 from my watch and heart beating through my chest.

After those intense few days where I was in the mode of only seeing the OBSTACLE. A pretty big obstacle haha, but an obstacle all the same……..I got control of my mindset & perspective again.

It was day 3. I’m finally at home in Ireland in my apartment now. I didn’t die on the plane. I can’t walk or do any Jiu Jitsu/leg day for the foreseeable future. There are a lot of things I can’t do now.

But………I had just read the obstacle is the way recently, and lots of other mindset/philosophy books. I had learned so much about the perspective I wanted to have, the man I wanted to be……so NOW IT’S TIME TO BE HIM.

Enough sitting on the sidelines reading about these great stoic men Mark, now it’s YOUR TIME. People see your mobility progress, but little do they know this pales in comparison to the INTERNAL CHANGES in my MINDSET & PERSPECTIVE.

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. BE ONE” - Marcus Aurelius

It’s not what I THINK that will define me in this life, it’s what I DO. This is my moment. This is what I have been training for. Bad moments are what actually SHOW US WHO WE REALLY ARE. The stage is set for the world to see my GREATNESS, as the stoics would say.

“Circumstances don’t make the man, they only REVEAL HIM TO HIMSELF” - Confucious

The time for tears was over. The time for sympathy for myself has faded. The time for seeing an obstacle is gone for me. Now………..I see THE WAY. I see OPPORTUNITY. There is no endedness, only POSSIBILITIES.

Ok Mark…….Jiu Jitsu is gone, lower body strength training is gone for a good while now.

But………”If I can’t do what I want…….I’LL DO WHAT I CAN”

What CAN you do Mark?

You can:

• Put all your knowledge and learning to the test and do your own rehab from this serious injury

• Use yourself as a guinea pig to show all you have learned on the body (to yourself & the world). Come back in half the time from the recommended guideline. This will build your confidence in your own skills massively, and show others how much you can help them

• Use the extra time taken from Jiu Jitsu and leg day, towards my upper body goals of the one-arm chin up and freestanding handstand pushup. Get better progress in the upper body goals than I would have if I was still training Jiu Jitsu and leg day (I emailed my coach at the time - “broke my leg and tore ankle ligaments. Can’t do leg day. Bring on the UPPER BODY GAINS” hahaha and he was like fuck me HELL YEAH!!! And made me an upper body only program and I got to work)

And so that’s what I did.

I got out the pull up bar, set it up. And I got cracking on my upper body session. The roommates might have thought I was a bit crazy day 3 after this maissoneve fracture with a cast, and I’m here banging out chin-ups haha.

But the external world isn’t what I base my choices on, it’s my INTERNAL world. I had been building the INNER CITADEL in my mind as the stoics say.

Long story short, let's skip to the end result of me applying the perspective change and topic of today's newsletter:

• For an injury with a recovery timeline of 5/6 months, I was back in the gym and Jiu Jitsu after 7 weeks. I shattered the recovery timelines. My aim was half the time but I came back even sooner. I even shocked myself. When I was meant to walk back in on crutches to take the boot off and only START my rehab then…..I walked in and handed them the crutches and boot. I got an X-ray and the broken leg and torn ligaments were fully healed. The doctor did a double take and had to ask me what I did. What an empowering moment that was. From having no clue about how my body worked & having my physical freedom taken away from me for so long in my life, to having the skills and knowledge to do what I did. That was a life-changing moment for me. I had TAKEN BACK CONTROL. I have shown what's possible when you don’t settle and go looking for better answers

• Confidence in my knowledge & skills grew MASSIVELY. And my understanding of how AMAZINGLY ADAPTABLE the human body is. This was no longer theory. I LIVED IT. And documented the whole thing at the time. Day by day for those who followed me back then. You can see the post here . And here 

• I had used the extra time to do the rehab but also push on upper body training. I made good progress in the one arm chin up and handstand pushup. This led to me getting the handstand pushup the following year in 18 months total. If I dropped off the training like I would have before, it probably would have taken me another year, if I even got back to it at all.

5 months later I ran 30km in barefoot shoes

I also hit a 105kg ass to grass PB back squat (1.5xBW at the time).

The words I preach were ingrained into my head even more on those days:

”You don’t get what you deserve

You get what you SETTLE for”

I had done it. What the stoics preach of over the centuries.

THE OBSTACLE IS THE WAY.

Life threw an object onto my fire in an attempt to extinguish it……..but all it did was turn the little fire into a FUCKING INFERNO

What was a massive obstacle……..became the WAY.

What was a ‘catastrophe’……..gave me the stage to show my GREATNESS.

To show how much work I had done on myself

To show how amazingly adaptable the human body is

To show what's possible with the right attitude and approach

To show the power a PERSPECTIVE CHANGE can have on your life

Fuck me……I kind of forget about these moments. But writing it out there made me relive it again. I went through the emotional journey again haha. The pain and sadness, the regret, through to the inspiration and elation of what I did.

Just like every piece of content I share, I have 2 purposes: INSPIRATION & EDUCATION. And I hope I am hitting these two in this newsletter. I used to be embarrassed to say that when I read back over things I have done the last 5 years I INSPIRE MYSELF. And this is what I want for you.

I show you my experiences to be a man of ACTION, not just words. To back up what I talk about with evidence. To INSPIRE YOU, and show you that its 100% possible for you too.

But I want YOU to start racking up your own experiences. I want YOU to have evidence of where you INSPIRE YOURSELF. Use mine for now, but the goal over time is to build your own cookie jar of adaptability, and keep putting cookies in there each time. This is where your confidence will come from.

If I am like “I don’t know if I can do this?”. I remind myself of what I have ALREADY DONE. I go through my catalogue of EVIDENCE. I overcame 10 years of chronic pain and injury, I came back from a maissoneve fracture in less than half the recommended time, I ran an untrained marathon in barefoot shoes. Mark……..you can do whatever the fuck you want in time. You did it before. You can do it again

And how did all these things happen? They all started with an idea, a concept……..a PERSPECTIVE CHANGE.

If you can’t do what you want.

Do what you can.

You have your suit of armour now. Go forth and conquer.

3 Actionable Takeaways:

1. Flip Your Perspective

• In every ‘obstacle’ there is an opportunity

• There is no endedness, only possibilities

• Take ownership of the lens you view the situation from. Focus on the opportunity

2. Identify The Best Way to Move Forward

• Use this spare time to pursue other goals/interests

• This can range from the rehab, to career, to interest, to connections

• Make progress in things that wouldn’t have been possible if this ‘bad’ situation didn't happen

3. Live It to Know Its Power

• Reading it isn’t enough

• You need to LIVE IT to see the difference

• Now you are armed with this perspective for any life situation. The obstacle has become the WAY

Client Examples:

Anna really benefitted from the "If you can't do what you want, do what you can" philosophy for both training and life. And when you mix it with the "small gains" approach, now you're on the path to PROGRESS!

Read Anna's full journey & review here

Eoin Walsh also mentioned how the perspective helped him on his journey towards physical freedom and improving anything in life!

Eoin O’Neill had some bad injuries. The perspective change was something that benefitted him greatly on his journey back to physical freedom!

Peter Lane found the perspective shift great for training & career.

A recent example from a few weeks ago was from Sean. He has come through low back and hip issues mainly. He is a fellow Jiu-Jitsu practitioner in the gym I go to! (Brazier Jiu Jitsu near O'Connell Street in Dublin). He hurt his knee and has a meniscus injury now and has to take a little time off the mats. But his perspective is different now in how he views injury:

As you are seeing from all the client examples - the PERSPECTIVE IS HUGE. To get back your physical freedom and be able to manage it going forward, it takes a lot more than just 'exercises'. Savage work from the guys. Inspires me to read them back again!!!

This Week

Education:

• Current Reading: Pretty much dropped off reading The Denial of Death the last week or two. Will get back on it

• Podcasts

(Jocko Podcast: Everything in Life is a Negotiation - Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator)

(Modern Wisdom Podcast: 500k subscriber Q&A: Casual sex, political idiots and dealing with depression)

(Lex Friedman Podcast: John Danaher: Submission grappling, ADCC, animal combat, and knives)

Business:

This week's client testimonial: Stephen Mellon (click his name for the full review!)His journey from a broken back and many torn/fractured body part, being told to settle......to getting back to where he wants to be with strength training & mountain biking. Getting his PHYSICAL FREEDOM back!!

Some client wins from the week:

Kevin overcoming a chronic knee issue and getting back hiking and jogging!

Personal:

Fun this week:

• Wednesday: Went to the cinema by myself to see the Woman King

• Saturday: Meal out with family

• (MRI for both knees today in Galway too! Wanting to get this done for a while)

Training:

• No one arm chinup session last week. 1 Leg day, 1 upper body (Push) day.

• 2 Jiu Jitsu sessions

I hope this perspective change will help you as much as it has helped me.

Just like anything it takes work and small gains. Don’t expect your perspective to just FLIP and stay like that now FOREVER. If it was that easy, then everyone would have this perspective on life.

Think of working on your perspective like hygiene……it’s needed DAILY ;)

(hence me putting up the picture of a little stoic quote each day on my stories on Instagram!). All the daily small gains will add up to the BIG GAINS OVER TIME.

With your mobility, your strength, your mindset, your perspective........with anything you want in life! Your choice.

Enjoy the weekend!! Don’t forget that “life isn’t a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced”. Plan some fun into your weekend if you haven’t already :)

Don’t Settle,

Mark