3 Steps to Designing the Life You Want

Author

Mark McCourt
February 05, 2023

I had just arrived home from a 3 month J1 Student Visa in America.

I spent my time mainly in Chicago.

But I had hit Vegas, Miami & New York on the way home.

Hadn't a penny to my name now.

In 2k of debt to my friend for the partying actually.

And soon after, another 2k of debt to my dad for a certificate in HR I did while in my first 9-5 job.

I was:

  • 4k in debt

  • Broken body

  • Not my true self

  • And facing the 9-5 rat race

..........fuck that.

I'm not settling for this anymore.

At 23, it was time to turn my fucking life around.

I had always thought I was going to make it as a soccer player.

So I never worried about what I would do with my life.

But when I settled and gave up on that dream, I learned my biggest life lesson from my most painful regret.

Now I was at another crossroads in my life.

I settled last time and I still had the pain ( I hadn't confronted it until years later).

I didn't know much.

But I knew one thing.

I'M NOT GOING TO SETTLE FOR THIS LIFE.

I'm not going to settle for my broken body.

For hiding behind the mask and not being my true self.

For the life laid out for me on the 9-5 hamster wheel.

Fuck that.

I outlined the process of how I gained deep self-awareness and able to become my true self

 Now it's time to bring you through the journey of how I designed the life I wanted.

Ever since I touched down on Irish soil after that J1.

I just wanted to have the freedom to design my own life.

And not have one forced upon me.

Because thats the reality.

There are only 2 options.

You can work towards designing your own life.

Or you can let OTHERS design one for you.

I wanted to:

Too much to ask?

Too far away?

Unrealistic?

Unachieveable?

You don't get what you deserve.

7 years later, I have:

  • Cultivated my passion & purpose in this life

  • Quit my well paid pensionable job in Facebook, and made my passion my career

  • Made the same take-home pay with my business in 2022, that I did in my last year in Facebook in 2019 before I left

  • I have spent 35k on the best mentors/coaches I could find, but I still have 40k in the bank

  • I have financial freedom to do what I want

  • I have location freedom to go wherever I want

I get to live my passion & purpose each day.

I get to be the change I want to see in the world.

I grow as a person each week as I learn things I am incredibly passionate about.

And the more I grow.

The bigger impact I have on others lives.

And my business & bank account grows as a result.

I just booked a one way flight to Bali.

Plan to travel Asia for 6 months while continuing to build my business and be the change I want to see in the world.

Not a bad life Marcus.

The reality is that YOU LIVE IN THE MOST OPPORTUNISTIC TIME IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

Don't listen to people who say 'it's not possible'.

To those who tell you to be 'realisic'.

The ones who tell you to 'settle'.

Don't let their self limiting beliefs be projected onto you.

I used to.

But now that shit bounces off me like a trampoline.

I've built the inner citadel in my mind over those 7 years.

I used to be a sheep.

I followed the myopic masses to the slaughter.

To the life I didn't want.

Now I'm the WOLF.

Nobody can tell me shit.

I'll do what I want.

I'll carve my own path in this one life I have.

I'll live it on MY TERMS.

Rather than live their one.

And you can to.

That's why you are here.

Old Paths for a New Generation

The main problem is that we are following a path from older generations.

When it doesn't have to be that way for us.

Here is the path that was set out in front of me:

  • Waste my life building someone else's vision, over my own

  • Following a path laid out for me by society from older generations

  • Not living a life true to myself. The life I really wanted

  • Dying with regret, resentment, wasted potential, and what if’s?

  • Not having the freedom to do whatever I want

I don't know about you.

But that didn't sound too appealing to me.

It's important to note early on that I am NOT saying you have to quit your job.

Or that you have to create your own business.

You don't have to.

If you enjoy your 9-5, and derive great passion & purpose from it.

Then your already winning.

You can design your life around that.

And the 3 steps will still be relevant to creating the life you want around this.

It will only go one of three ways:

1. Some will want to turn a passion into their career

2. Some will want to stay in a 9-5 job and build their ideal life around that

3. Some will want both (50% income from 9-5; 50% from passion. Or different percentages of each)

So there is no ONE WAY.

But we can all work towards desiging the life that's true to us.

The one we want to live for our brief time here on earth.

That's why its called 'Lifestyle Design' and not 'you have to work for yourself to be happy".

Lifestyle Design = SYSTEMATICALLY DESIGNING THE LIFE YOU WANT

If you want to have more of any of the following:

  • More passion & purpose in your life

  • Follow whats true to yourself and not die with regret

  • Build your own vision and be the change you want to see in the world

  • Having freedom to do what you want in this life

Then this newsletter will get you started on the journey.

The journey to designing the life you want.

3 Steps to Designing the Life You Want

Clarity is essential if we want to reach our goal over time.

Lack of clarity leads to confusion.

Confusion leads to procrastination.

Procrasintaion keeps you stuck & frustrated.

It's time to break the cycle.

Here are the steps you need to focus on:

  1. Vision

  2. Self-Development

  3. Levers to Freedom

Let's dive right in.

1. Vision (Start at the End)

You are on your deathbed.

Taking your last breaths.

You are dying with regrets.

You aren't happy with the life you lived like most people. (Top regret on people's deathbeds is "Not living a life true to myself. Living a life OTHERS expected of me". Google top 5 regrets of the dying)

Get into this experience..........WHY are you not happy?

What was it that you wanted to do with your life?!

If you don't think about this, you will never be able to live it.

For my 23 years old self, there were a few things:

  • I want to overcome my 10 years of chronic pains & injuries and do things I love again

  • I want to take off the mask and start to be myself. Discover who I really am and who I could become

  • I want to find my passion & purpose

  • I want to help people in things I love & am extremely passionate about as my career

  • I want financial & location freedom to do whatever I want

If I didn't do these things......I will be on my deathbed with regrets.

Now its time to see what comes up for you.

Macro Vision to Micro Day

When you have your bigger vision of what a life with no regrets looks like for you.

Now it's time to go micro:

What will the PERFECT DAY look like for you?

REMOVE ALL THE BARRIERS.

We are starting from the end here, barriers don't exist.

Becuase if you try and build your ideal life from where you are NOW......all you will see is barriers.

"but I have to pay this loan.....I just got a house......I have kids" etc etc etc.

This will stop you before you even get started.

We could all come up with excuses if we really wanted.

I only see 2 options in life:

  • Make progress

  • Make excuses

And most people who follow me see life the same way.

There will be no pity parties here.

We don't choose the cards we are dealt, but we choose how to play the hand.

Ok.....so you are a billionaire......there are no restrictions........what does your perfect day look like???

My 'perfect day' template looked something like this:

  • Up early so I don't waste the day

  • Work on something I love and would do for free

  • Learn something I am fascintated by (podcast/audible/book)

  • Train (strength training or Jiu Jitsu. Or both)

  • Eat good food and engage in quality conversation with people I connect with

  • Relax then with the wife & kids in the evening

If I was a trillionaire.............it wouldn't change anything.

What else am I going to do?!

I've lived the 'athlete' lifestyle.

I've lived the 'party animal' lifestyle.

I've lived most things.

But nothing compares to this.

This is what I love to do.

We all have to answer it for ourselves.

And of course holidays etc aren't coming into it here.

This is like your general perfect day.

Not a fantasy week or whatever.

And what do my days look like now?

7 years later:

  • Up at 6/7am

  • 1.5-3 hour work block on either client work/content

  • Listen to podcasts on walks, and read some of a book before bed

  • I strength train or do Jiu Jitsu

  • I have meaningful conversations with coaches/friends/mentors online or in person

  • Once a week I try to meet someone in person for food/pint

Not far off the perfect day for me.

And it all started by outlining the end vision.

The origin of the journey starts with the END vision.

Starting at the start with no vision will have you walking blind.

2. Self-Development (Become Who You Are)

How can you design the life you want, if you don't even know WHO YOU ARE?

It all starts with becoming more self-aware.

This is one of many reasons why the MENTAL FREEDOM work is crucial to living a good life.

Once you are more aware, you can begin to develop yourself.

Let's dive into my own personal self-development framework.

"Every Bodies Personal Track"

I coined this phrase for myself and my own journey.

Now I am passing it on to you.

I think deeply on things.

And in my heart...I knew I had to find my own path.

One day as I sat thinking about it, my imagination ran wild.

I can live more in my head than the outside world at times.

All the things I study and learn start to come together in my mind throughout the day.

I imagined a motorway.

The 'motorway of life'.

Cars driving up the ramp to the motorway.

The people all in good spirits.

Without understanding whats ahead of them.

That 40 years down that highway, they will realise it wasn't what they thought.

It wasn't the 'motorway of life'...

It was the 'motorway of regret'.

They have all been fooled.

I try to help but I can't stop them.

There are too many cars

Nothing I can do will work.

Then I see a track off to the left before the highway.

Covered in shit.

Nobody even bothers to look down there.

And straight up onto the highway they go.

But not me.

I make my way over there.

I don't know much, but I know one thing.

I'm not getting up on this fucking motorway.

I'm going to take the road less travelled.

I'm going down the route to the unknown.

I'm taking the track to the left.

Then I google 'track' to see what it actually means.

"a rough path or road, typically one beaten by use rather than constructed"

.......yes.........that couldn't have been worded any better.......

It's not even a path yet, it's barely even a track

And what am I going to have to do?

I am going to have to BEAT MY TRACK INTO EXISTENCE THROUGH PERSISTENCE.

Yessssssss.

That's what I'm going to fucking do.

It's time to go Bob The Builder on this motherfucker.

Even if it takes me 2, 5, 10, 20 years........its still better than being on the highway to regret.

And once I eventually beat my track into existence.......OTHERS WILL SEE IT NOW.

For years, decades, generations to come.....as the cars head up towards the motorway, they will see a track off to the left.

"You don't get what you deserve, you get what you SETTLE for"

"...........wtf does that mean?!......"

And they look up and see that the 'motorway of life' sign has been ripped down.

And they see the real sign underneath.

"The motorway of regret"

And those who don't want to settle for a life filled with regret.

Will gravtitate towards this track I beat into existence all those years ago.

It will change the trajectory of their lives forever.

When they go down this track, they will see there are unlimited exits off to other places.

Unlimited spaces for EVERY BODIES PERSONAL TRACK.

EVERYONE has the opportunity down here to carve out their own track.

One track.........has become many.

EBPT - Education/Business/Personal/Training

'Every bodies personal track' is the acronym for how I structure my self-development across: Education/Business/Personal/Training

Education:

- Across body, mindset, business & life.

Business:

- All the way from your side passion up to full-time business if you want

Personal:

- Health: Mental & Physical health

- Wealth: Working toward financial freedom

- Relationships: Learning relationship dynamics

Training

- Physical: Your training goals

- Mental: Training mental skills (like focus for example)

- Skill: Something you want to improve from just 5 mins daily (I have juggling here. 5 mins over 2.5 years and I'm 5-ball juggling).

I've been chasing the SMALL GAINS across EBPT for years.

And I've had coaches/mentors in nearly all of these areas.

That's the quickest way to get results with anything.

You FOLLOW THE RESULTS and pay them for the roadmap on how to get there.

Simple.

But now you have a framework to structure it.

After this, you can start to work towards finding your life direction.

And then onto finding your passion and purpose (and leaving the rate race safely - if that's what you want to do).

3. Levers to Freedom (From Vision to Reality)

So now we have:

  • Our vision and end goal (macro)

  • Our perfect day (micro)

  • Self development framework which lets us small gain our way towards this over time

  • We have started to gain momemtum towards our life direction

  • We have started cultivating our passion & purpose

Now.....it's time to bridge the gap to the end goal.

Maybe you are 2 feet away from your lifestyle design goal.

Maybe you are 10,000 feet.

It doesn't matter, this is where we IDENTIFY THE GAP.

And we use leverage to close these gaps as efficiently and effectively as possible.

Identify the Gap

The gaps are usually:

  • Time

  • Energy

  • Money

  • Other resources

For example someone with a family & kids might struggle with time.

A person who has a very demanding 9-5 might struggle with energy.

A person with bad saving habits would struggle with money and have no savings to invest in themselves or their passion/purpose.

And in terms of other resources, it's usually things like a coach/mentor.

Without a coach/mentor who has been down the path already, you are choosing to play this game on 'hard mode'.

I've had a coach/mentor across body, mindset & life 5 years in a row now.

35k spent.

Average's out at 7k per year.

Best money I have ever spent in my life.

It has helped fast track me to:

  • Regaining my PHYSICAL FREEDOM

  • Gaining MENTAL FREEDOM

  • Designing the Life I want

People (including younger Marcus) didn't really understand the deeper level of what a coach/mentor gives you.

I thought it was all about money, but nope.

Coaches/mentors give you more of the most important resource on this planet for you: TIME.

They give you more time on this earth living the life you want.

For example, take my Physical Freedom.

I got it back at 26 through the help of a coach to guide me.

Let's say I tried to figure it out on my own and I got it back at 36.

I might have saved 1k..........but I have LOST 10 YEARS OF MY PHYSICAL FREEDOM THAT I CAN NEVER GET BACK.

I can make another 1k. Heck, I'll have that within a month. No bother.

But those 10 years in the prime of my life when I could have been doing the things I love?!

......They are gone forever.

Are you getting the point?

Money comes and goes.

We've all spent thousands or 10s of thousands by now on pointless shit that doesn't move us towards the life we want.

Once I realised that I pay coaches/mentors to get my TIME back.

To live more of the life I want with my one chance.

......I haven't been without one.

It's the best gift they could ever give you.

TIME is life's most precious resource.

Not even the trillionaires or most powerful people in the world can get buy that back.

Close the Gap

Once you identify the gap for you, now it's time to close it.

We can take the macro/micro view here again.

A) Long Levers

Long levers are the decisions that will have the biggest impact on bridging the gap to the life you want.

Example:

Time

- You pay someone to do some of your work to free up more time for you

- You work less hours at your job. Maybe even switch to part-time, or leave and take a different job part-time

Energy

- You sort out things that will give you more energy (reducing life stress, training, nutrition etc)

- Option of the examples above for time too. Use other peoples energy to do your work, so you have more for yourself

Money

- Get a savings plan in place

- Go for a promotion or higher-paid job while keeping your expenses the same. The small gains will add up

Other resources

- Get a coach/mentor to give you the education & guidance you need to fast track your result and save you life's most important resource: time

Working on short levers WITHOUT aligning them with the bigger levers is a fatal mistake.

I've done it before and I see it with countless others.

You will be moving the short levers with your daily drivers (as you will see below).

But you will be small gaining your way in the WRONG DIRECTION, if they aren't aligned with the big levers.

Even if you are 'roughly' heading in the right direction, you will still end up miles away from where you wanted to be.

The analogy that perfectly illustrates this is a plane journey.

If you were on a flight from Los Angeles to New York City.

And the pilot makes a small adjustment and turned 3.5 degrees south.

The plane would end up in Washington DC instead of New York city.

A consitent 'small' change..............leads to MASSIVE CHANGES OVER TIME.

The progress exponentially grows each day with the small gains.

So you want to make sure the SMALL GAIN TRAIN is heading in the right direction.

Towards the life that you want.

B) Short Levers

Short levers are the daily drivers within the long levers.

These are the daily routines & habits that close that gap one small gain at a time.

Example:

Time

- From paying someone or working less hours in your own job, you got back 2 hours daily to focus on your passion/purpose

- 2 hours daily over a year is 728 HOURS. 5 years later that is 3,640 HOURS. In 15 years you have over 10,000 hours. So from just 2 hours....you can achieve the MASTERY 10,000 hour milestone......but you have 'no time' yeah?! It's an illusion that keeps you stuck.

Energy:

- You get energy back through a lifestyle change or working less hours/paying someone to do your work

- You can work more EFFECTIVELY & EFFICIENTLY now and close the gap quicker

- It's not all about 'time' management. If you have all the time in the world, but no actual ENERGY to do the work....pretty pointless isn't it? But together they become powerful

Money

- You start saving an extra €300 per month by reducing your expenses on shit you don't need, or a small bump in salary

- Over 1 year you have saved an extra €3,600. Over 5 years you have saved an extra €18,000

- "but I have no money".....hmmmmm. You have money, you just spend it on things that don't close the gap between you and the life you want. But you can change that

Other resources

- You tell yourself a story about how you can't get a coach/mentor because of any excuse along time, energy & money. You kid yourself and stay stuck

- Or you utilise the strategies above to pay a coach and you accelerate towards the life you want much faster. You get there 10 years earlier than you would have on your own. An extra 10 years living the life you want on this earth. (nearly 10% of your whole life)

As you can see, all these daily drivers use compounding effects to create MASSIVE changes over time.

Consistently moving the short levers each week, is what moves the long levers over time.

Once you truly understand the scientifically backed amazing POWER OF SMALL GAINS.......you will have the confidence that I did.

Knowing my goals are inevitable in time.

Playing the long game, at peace with myself, and enjoying the process & journey.

"Big gains are an ILLUSION. Any perceived 'big gain'......is actually just an accumulation of SMALL GAINS over TIME. And anyone can hop aboard the SMALL GAIN TRAIN"

The glorious small gains will reel in any goal over time.

The small gains don't discriminate, only you do.

They will take you wherever you want in time.

Don't expect progress if you take off in the wrong direction, or if you never leave the airfield.

But if you align the power of SMALL GAINS with the right direction......the plane will reach it's destination in time.

And it's going to be one hell of a journey.

The Altar of Freedom

Contrary to what you might have been told.

Good things don't come to those who wait.

You can wait a lifetime, but the life you want isn't going to land on your lap.

You need to BEAT YOUR OWN TRACK INTO EXISTENCE THROUGH PERSISTENCE.

And to do this, you need to make some sacrifices.

So I ask you: What are you willing to place on the ALTAR OF FREEDOM????

I left my heart and soul up there.

Along with my hard earned 35k and counting each year.

I was willing to leave my friends, my family, ANYTHING up there.

If they didn't support me following the path true to myself......I was willing to walk it alone.

And that's the truth.

While I am lucky to have a loving supportive family and it would never come to that, I had made that decision.

Once I went all in, I knew there was no way I could fail.

Why?

Because failing wouldn't be 'not making it'.

Failure to me was NOT EVEN TRYING.

Failure to me was GIVING UP.

Failure to me was settling for a life that wasn't true to myself.

And no matter what happened, I wasn't going to settle.

So I had already won.

I settled for most of my life up until I was 23.

That's when I made a promise to myself that I am not going to settle until I build the life I want.

This is the core of who I am now.

I know it's all down to me.

So I have 2 choices in life.

For my Physical Freedom, for my Mental Freedom, for Lifestyle Design.

I can make progress.

Or I can make excuses.

I chose excuses for 23 years.

Now all I see is PROGRESS.

There is no 2nd option for me anymore.

I don't even see it.

Tears roll down my face as I write this.

I'm proud of the man I have become and the life I live now.

And I want you to feel like this someday.

I will bring as many of you as I can with me.

Sustained Action Over Shapeless Epiphanies

You may be motivated now, inspired!!!!!....but that will fade.

I've laid it all out for you, but don't think it'll come easy.

There's a reason most don't choose this path.

Because it requires work.

It requires you going against what most people do.

And you can become a bit of an outcast.

But the reality is: "If you want to ride the wave, you have to go against the current".

You can't expect things others don't have.

Without doing shit they aren't prepared to do.

There is no free ride here.

It will take determination & discipline.

It will take you believing in yourself no matter what anybody else says.

I will believe in you until you have enough belief in yourself.

It's 100% possible to design the life you want.

But hoping & wishful thinking won't get you there.

Clarity, an actionable blueprint to follow, and a coach to guide you will.

It's been done by so many people, and it'll be done by so many more.

Whether you are one of those people, is up to you.

Just like it always has been.

The work may be tough, but the tools in your hands will never have felt lighter.

If you don’t want to settle for the life chosen for you by others anymore.

Join the Don’t Settle Squad in the Lifestyle Design University.

Where you will get the blueprint to design the life true to you and nobody else.

My Week

Education:

Current Reading: The Denial of Death

Podcasts:

(The Game with Alex Hormozi: Is Going to College Still Worth It?)

(Diary of a CEO: E217 - Jay Shetty: 8 Rules for Perfect Love & Amazing Sex)

Business:

This week's client testimonial was Alastair Nolan!

His journey of regaining his Physical Freedom to get back to the gym & running!

For the full review, click here.

Podcast:

I'm getting the podcast back up and running again!

I love listening to podcasts each week and I get so much from them.

So I want to start putting out value through this medium going forward and return the favour

First guest up on the podcast is Andy Mitchell! (aka Resilient Beings).

An animal of a man who shares similar values to myself on training and life!

It will be uploaded to YouTube and all podcast platforms in the next week or two.

I will announce it on Instagram!

1:1 Coaching:

- Physical Freedom
- Mental Freedom
- Lifestyle Design


Personal:

Fun:

- Out for a meal Thursday evening

- Friends 30th on Saturday after the podcast with Andy!

Have my room in Dublin rented out from next week.

For my Asia travels

T-minus 1.5 weeks until I fly off!!

Probably should get my apartment booked in Bali eh?! haha.

Bit behind on that.

Training:

  • 1 One Arm Chin Up session

  • 1 Upper Push sesson

  • 1 Leg session

That's it!

It's time to take back control and start designing the life you want.

Growth in private is self development.

Growth in public can be made into a business.

And what is business?

"Business is just getting paid for your contribution to the future"

I am just progressing our species in my own small way.

Like our savage ancestors would have done over the last 6 million years for me and you.

So that we could have this opportunity here today in front of us.

Our hunter gatherer ancestors didn't settle for swinging from trees in Africa, they conquered the WORLD.

The Irish didn't settle for rule under the English, they fought for our FREEDOM.

The Don't Settle Attitude is in our blood. In our DNA.

And now it's our turn to leave our mark on history.

Until next week!

Don't Settle,

Mark